'The Man That Was To Be My Protector Was Trying To Kill Me Before I Was Born'
On our wedding day, we asked our church worship leader to please sing “Good Good Father.” Kindly he said yes, and we will always be extremely grateful.
You see, this beautiful song says in the lyrics,
“You’re a good, good father/ It’s who you are, it’s who you are, it’s who you are/ And I’m loved by you/ It’s who I am, it’s who I am, it’s who I am/ I’ve seen many searching for answers far and wide/ But I know we’re all searching/ For answers only you provide/ ‘Cause you know just what we need/ Before we say a word.”
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Before I got married my grandmother and I had ocean deep, heart to heart conversations. I asked for memories she had when my mother was pregnant with me.
She shared with me, “your dad didn’t believe your mom was pregnant with his child, he would beat her ruthlessly when she was pregnant with you. At eight months of pregnancy, he beat her so bad she almost miscarried you. Bleeding, left her at my doorstep saying, ‘here is your daughter, that baby isn’t mine.’”
My heart was broken and I thought to myself, “I had been unwanted, unloved and abandoned, the man that was to be my protector was trying to kill me before I was born.”
For years fear ruled my life until I saw myself how He sees me. God stepped in and gave me a powerful reminder through the Word. Psalm 31:13 reads, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.”
Truth that I stand on today, always pointing it all back to Him.
From before I was born, the enemy wanted me dead. Realizing my Father God was with me all along will always be the source of my joy. Psalm 30:11-12.
This moment of our wedding, worshiping God with my sweetheart, all of our family, and loved ones, was my absolute favorite and dearest moment. NO MATTER IF I NEVER HAD AN EARTHLY FATHER, I ALWAYS HAD MY HEAVENLY FATHER.
I share because many experienced this pain and trauma: feeling unwanted, unseen, rejected and unloved.
Beloved, the pain is real and raw. BUT so is God, He alone can turn your pain into joy.
You are seen by Him, you are not a mistake, in Him, you will find the salvation you are desperately looking for.
Rebuke the lies of the enemy with Biblical truths. Always remember the enemy uses your painful past to keep you captive and away from the salvation only Jesus gives. But where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 2 Corinthians 3:17.
LET ME POINT IT ALL BACK TO HIM.
Without sanctification DAILY, without His mercy and grace, without His salvation through the cross, His love, I am nothing. I am undeserving of it all, but in His mercy He called me to be a wife, and ONLY in Him we find fulfillment. Jesus died for our salvation, redemption, forgiveness and through his stripes, we are healed.
My hope is in my savior Jesus. He defeated all the lies of my past.
This content was published with permission from the author, Krystell Caycedo. It first appeared on her Facebook page and was submitted by the author to Liftable, a brand of The Western Journal. Krystell is the founder of Authentic You Testimonies Worldwide.
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