Grieving Mom's Words About Faith After Daughter's Death: 'We Both Knew It Was Emily'
I have been thinking a lot about something our Pastor George Wright said on Sunday. He said, “tell your story.”
I thought that most people know my/our story, but maybe they don’t know where faith has led me/us. When you receive something as special as a child, you feel as though your heart may burst, because of the love you have for your child.
You nurture, discipline, protect, hold him or her up through good and bad, and try to raise them to be loving compassionate well-rounded adults. The story is our children … the love incomparable to anything else.
As each day passes since we lost our sweet Emily our love doesn’t fade. Emily still makes us burst with pride and love. April 22, 2015 … the day our world turned upside down.
I don’t think I can truly describe the fear you have when you hear something bad has happened and you have not heard from your children. I had been in a meeting that day, but could not pinpoint why I felt so uneasy. I chalked it up to things being discussed in the meeting.
I did not want to be distracted during the meeting, so I left my cell phone in my office. After all, Emily had been at clinical since 6:30 a.m. and I dropped Haily off at school safe and sound.
When I came out of the meeting I had a text from Craig asking if I had talked to Emily. Of course, I called him and asked why. I usually would not talk to her on clinical days until she finished instruction.
Craig said Neal called and said there had been a terrible accident on I-16 and wanted to know if we had heard from Emily. It was 1:00 p.m. and that happened in the morning … She could not have been involved.
I told Craig I usually hear from her around 2 p.m. to 2:30 p.m. and I was sure that she did not have her phone with her because they were on the floor at the hospital. I finished our conversation and told him that I would call him as soon as she called, but I had that terrible feeling that you get when something is wrong.
I went to Selena, my boss at the time and a special friend, and told her about the accident. Selena said it could not be her and that Emily was fine.
At that moment when I looked at her, we both knew it was Emily.
I left Selena, went back to my office and I got a call from Liz. Liz and I never call each other during the day, we would normally just text. But on April 22, 2015, Liz called to see if I was okay. We both knew as soon as we heard each other’s voice that it was Emily.
God has people that he puts in your life such as my sweet friends Selena and Liz. (“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13)
As the day went on, I asked God to please let her call, but at 3:40 p.m. on April 22, 2015, Craig called and told me it was true, Emily has gone to be with our Lord.
At that moment in time, I knew where Emily was and that she was in the loving arms of Jesus. (“Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the Lord God is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation.” Isaiah 12:2)
I was in shock and I am not sure how I functioned, but we had so many wonderful people taking care of us. My sweet neighbor Heather took care of Haily until we got home, and I thought how will we ever be able to tell her what has happened.
I knew the only thing that would get us through this was God. (“Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” Psalm 46:10)
I never questioned God because I knew that God is perfect and does not make mistakes. (“Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses.” 1 Timothy 6:12)
I can truly say my faith has grown stronger through this and many people wonder how this can be. As I look around today, I can see God’s grace through all of the lives Emily has touched and all of the good things that are happening to honor Emily.
I know that God is in control, and not everything in your walk with the Lord is easy. I wish I could say that my heart no longer hurts, but that would be impossible.
I am blessed because we have so many wonderful memories, but I also know that there will be days that are challenging, and there will also be days when my/our heart will burst with pride and love. (“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.” 3 John 1:4)
I have learned forgiveness, probably one of the hardest parts of this time in our lives. I did not want to have a cold heart … How could I love if I could not forgive? (“For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Matthew 6:14-15)
Mostly I have learned to talk to God and pray unconditionally. God may not answer our prayers like we want, but it is all of part of his greater plan. (“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good for those who are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28)
I am so thankful that God gave us Emily for her time here on earth. We are so blessed to say that she is part of our family.
Always remember our sweet Emily she was truly one of a kind and a blessing to each of us. (“Good people pass away; the godly often die before their time. But no one seems to care or wonder why. No one seems to understand that God is protecting them from the evil to come.” Isaiah 57:1)
The Lord has some very special plans for our sweet Em. (“But Jesus called them to him, saying, ‘Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God.'” Luke 18:16)
As for today, I have strength in the Lord and I know that we will see her again … and until we see you again Sweet Em.
This content was submitted to Liftable by WJ and published with permission from the author, Kathy Clark.
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