Al Gore's Global Warming Is So Hot, Even the US Military Is Stuck in Ice
Boy, this winter has sure been an object lesson in global warming, right?
I mean, record snows, record lows, a New Year’s Eve so cold Steve Harvey looked like Dolemite dressed for the Iditarod — it’s sure been a hot winter by any stretch of the imagination.
And now, those balmy temperatures Al Gore has been telling us about for all these years are even affecting our military in highly unusual ways.
According to WIVB-TV, the USS Little Rock — one of the Navy’s newest littoral combat ships — was supposed to be safely in Jacksonville, Florida by now, where its crew would be basking in the Florida sun.
Instead, cold temperatures and ice have ensnared the combat ship in port in Montreal.
Business Insider reports that the Little Rock was commissioned on Dec. 16 in Buffalo, New York, and was scheduled to leave the following day.
In fact, according to the Buffalo News, 8,500 people witnessed the commissioning of the $440 million boat that Saturday under the impression it was going to depart Buffalo’s Canalside.
However, that’s when the problems began.
Cmdr. Todd Peters decided to wait until Dec. 20 to leave port due to inclement weather on Lake Erie. When it finally left, the ship traveled through the St. Lawrence Seaway to Montreal for a regularly scheduled stop on its way to Halifax.
However, things got a little cold and icy as they were docked in Quebec’s largest city.
Temperatures plunged below zero and trapped the Little Rock in a sheet of ice.
Global warming in action, folks!
As of right now, due to the ice (and, to be fair, a lack of tugboats to safely guide the Little Rock out), it’s currently stuck in Canada.
“We continue working with Port Authority tugs, experts, and technological representatives to ensure the best path forward,” Lt. Commander Courtney Hillson told reporters.
Hopefully, the sailors were able to take in the Notre Dame Basilica or a Habs game — although from the looks of things, it’s pretty much too cold to do anything worthwhile.
These are the ravages of global warming, folks. Perhaps Al Gore can speed it up a bit so that the crew of the USS Little Rock can make their way to Florida.
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